long lost blog

its too early to eat, and making anything will take too long before i need to take off for karate. i'll have to have an energy bar. they dont taste that good. oh well.. better than fainting in class. and i am feeling tired. i wont let myself watch amovie [or tv] during the day without having something productive to do, such as laundry to sort and fold, but i still feel drowsy afterwards.. and now i'm blogging. i shouldnt be. idont have anything interesting to blog about, i just saw the date of my last post and felt "the need".
OH!
i do have projects i want to get into if i can get certain pieces and such. i liked having an entry on my fridge board with its little update and all.. xD
but that will be for another day.
but hopefully soon cuz doing/making something usually helps my mood.

ralph and juliette earnshaw

I read wuthering heights. i liked it a good bit despite the hard and/or long dialogue parts of Joseph and some old writing style. i see why its a classic. its got a very dark/tragic plot. requited love unjoined. basic i guess, but still something people enjoy?
anyways. i wanted to watch the movie. [i love my library.] so i requested it and got it to watch, though a little while after my 'mood of wuthering heights'** wore off. it was the ralph fiennes and juliette binoche version. great expectations. i was sorely disappointed. their performances weren't awful or anything. i think the writers simply tried to make what could have been a very long but good movie into something shorter, thus more enjoyable, but which was still long, and since it had to be watered down, it was just ..fail. i would have been fine with a long version of good quality.
i was sad cuz it was a really good book. and the movie failed to show how strong cathy and heathcliff's feelings were. so everything after that fell apart. i could watch it cuz i knew what was happening, but jess was just in misery, i think.
poor man.
i mean, even if it was good, i think he would have found it a bit boring.. xD
anyways. i hope they make a new version sometime, since that one was done in '92 i think. it was alright. good make up and set and stuff. i just want a GOOD version of this book.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI5qEQAvOcY



**you know when you read a book and you think about it alot? that.

early literature

You know what i think is funny?
i think its funny when you pick up a toddler book and find two names on the cover.
illustrator and author or "story by".
yep.
that's funny to me.
alot of these books have very few words in there.
those are the books i'm talking about.
i guess you might have needed the one to start the project and that one person could not draw, but it still seems like it didnt take that much to get the text together.
like the toddler books that have illustrations for daily things. where there is the picture and then only the word underneath.











wagon

imagine..

.. You were leaving the earth tonight.
when you are content here on earth, you may assume you have all the time in the world, that you have the time to live a full life 'til 92 years of age.
but then if you aren't happy, or you are in pain, you wait for death impatiently?
how long did Steph lie in bed waiting for Jesus to come and take her? did it seem very long?
she was waiting. she knew she didnt have very much time after hope for a miracle was lost, if it ever was..
i'm sure even after she had died, my father[probably my mother, too] was half expecting/hoping for a lazarus miracle.
still we don't know why the healing didn't happen, but it didnt. it was her time to go. and now she is no longer waiting for Jesus, but is with Him.

but is that was it takes to want to be with Jesus?
hopelessness? then everything is better than what you have, right?

i don't want to leave my life here. i love what i have, though i don't always act like i do.
i need to be ready, and even if i were to expect Jesus' coming to be in one hundred years or my death at 92 years, i should be living ready.
what if you were going to be walking hand in hand with Jesus along a creek side this afternoon.
why is it so hard to believe that its better than what we have here?!
here we deal with stress and depression and violence and all sorts of crap, but we cling to our life here so hard.
i do need to be happy here, just not clinging.
as my mom says often, this too will pass.
how hard it is to live temporarily when you don't know how long you have.
i'm thirty and some days it feels like life is long. another forty years seems like an eternity. its longer than how long i have had so far, even if only by ten years. [is that when you start thinking life is short? when you lived longer than you assum you have left?]
where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.
how true that is.
if all i do is work, work, work on my house, that'll be what's on my thoughts and heart.
i need to work on things that are eternal.
i can barely think of tomorrow, but i think that's alright if i can make today count.
everyday needs to be prioritized with Jesus and then others.
i believe in Jesus, the son of God. i'm not debating this, i'm just trying to convey my thoughts on life. my life.
i have been feeling bored the last few days. restless. there is more i could do. there is always stuff to do, so i want to make sure i'm setting my goals right, then strive forward.
my kids are growing. they are my mission right now. i need to be the best mother i can be, but also person.

la belle nuit

I got thru two of the four twilight books. i'm liking them. i want bella to become a vamp and live with her edward forever and ever!
i havent seen the movie and didnt want to until i read the book. now i want to see it, but i doubt i'll like it as much as the book as rarely movies live up to the books they are based on, with maybe the exeption of milo and otis [xD *hasnt read milo and otis*].
so kristen stewart plays bella. i saw the posters and signs in a few places as the movie was coming out, and once i thought it was the daughter from "step mom" playing her, and that bugged me. so i was glad to see someone who i didnt really recognize.
she's the girl in panic room! haha. i was pleased when i found that out. she is SO cute in that movie [though starting out, i wasnt sure if she was a girl or a boy.. sorry kristen, but hey, you did play a tomboy with short hair who was about, what, eleven?]. she plays a good sassy mouth. i laughed when she told her mom to use the "F word" at the burglars. she's also in zathura, though i liked her less in that, but i did really like the movie. she was recognizable in that when i looked at the case, later on.
i'm waiting to read the next two books. i dont want to buy the books, cuz i'm that cheap. plus eclipse is only in hardcover, which i hate reading in, but if its free from the library, who cares, right? i hear the 3rd book is really good, but that the 2nd was boring. i didnt find it that boring. hopefully that doesnt mean i won't like the third.


anyways. she's grown lovely, and i look forward to the quart-ology that i hope they are planning on making. its only expected, isn't it?

my husband

Jess is my husband. he's a very good man. i'm glad to be married to him. he is very good to me. also i love him very much. it works out well. seriously though, often i think he is the better of the two of us. actually, i know he is. he's loving, responsible, caring, sensitive, funny, mature, relaxed and more things i can't think of as i think of a list. where as i am pretty simple of the mind. like a dog, but not the good kind in particular. my last blog focused too much on bad things about him. we get along very well. he takes time to help out with things i struggle with and he makes sure to spend time with us all despite how tired he is after work. i like to be with him. he's my best friend, and he'd be the person, i'd be content to be bored with. ten years we've had. i'm glad he stuck around. i know its tempting to run away from me and never look back. i love you, Jesse. xox

chalking

I am a mother of three and at school, a therapist suggested large muscle exercise for my youngest.
so yesterday, i went out and bought chalk board [spray] paint to make the most easel like version of a chalkboard that wouldn't clutter our house further by taking up floor space. [i love making use of wall space, thank you ikea.]
covering a wall with chalk paint wouldn't impress my husband, so i looked for spaces to use. our fridge. i think it will work well if the black chalk does not make it an eye sore. [it's old and we are planing to replace our appliances eventually]. so the fridge and maybe the door to the office. [its flat and ugly old, not charming old.]
also making little hand held boards or smaller boards for more clutter.. aye!
growing up, i had a large chalkboard in our basement. my sister and i would spend hours drawing on it, so the idea of a large drawing space is extremely charming to me.
i love my husband very much. let me make that clear. however we do not see eye to eye on a few things. for starters, our house. we have three kids. it is a continuous mess. organizing it is not impossible, but evidence of having children will never be hidden. he would like a home that looks like a luxurious hotel room/apt. i don't dislike those at all, but its not a look i think will be possible in our home until our kids are out of the house.
what is it with men and the want of an entertainment room? i like tv and movies. i don't find it hard to get into a movie if the screen is "only 26 inches", though. but whatever. i know there are things i won't understand or certain things that won't grow on me. doesnt mean that his interests aren't valid.
i do think my thoughts on the home are more family oriented at times though. even if it doesn't look classy, it would be functional and "happy".
we moved into our present home about 2years ago. lovely. it was the proper needed size we wanted [despite the renos that were made seemed rushed and half assed] and bordered on the school the kids would go to, and the price was what we could afford, not "try to" afford. our first owned home! YAH!
possession date we went in to clean. jess [my husband] decided to peek behind panel boards in the basement/lower floor. mould. toxic black mould through out the whole basement.
happiness.
so we couldnt move in right away, but we were already in with both feet. so we got the basement gutted and we have slowly been renovating the home up to standard.
that just to say that our "playroom" is unfinished.
so plans to do the playroom a certain way are somewhat decided. but now i dont want to finish it, because it will become an entertainment room, and our upstairs living room will be more of a 'sitting room" for when we have company. right now the living room is the tv/sitting room. the basement is the playroom.
i ramble.
also, i worked in a daycare for a brief time and wanted to pursue early childhood education before my kids were born, so the layout of play places for children seem very functional and needed. playing is good. a playroom is a great place for all three children to play together and continue to learn from each other.
i would love to make the basement super fun! a table, a computer desk, a puppet center, a book corner, shelves and bins for them to be able to organize and clean up after themselves [with much coaxing], paper and crafts, blackboard, kitchen/house/store playarea, and maybe tv and bean bags. i know there is enough room in there to do it.
i'm gonna do it. when he is gone to work. *sneaks*
no, not that way, but yes.. it'll get done. and it will be a beautiful thing!
but for now, i will figure out how to do the side of the fridge and the door in the best way possible.


UPDATE:
so after this original blog, i got paint for the project.
i gave the fridge a quick sanding and over 2 days,
i gave the fridge 3 coats and let it dry three days before curing and using it. then wet wiped it after 7 days. not too hard.
it turned out pretty good. my fridge has a crinkly surface instead of smooth so, its not quite as good as a slate board, but i think the kids will use and enjoy it. it makes a nice big surface to draw on. and gets chalk dust all over the house.